Woods Madness Musings Pt. 2

When you’ve been sitting quietly in the woods for any extended period of time your mind starts to wander. When you sit down at 6:00 AM and stay until 5:00 PM you get delirious. Last year Tyson and I attempted to document those thoughts. A few of them were useless. Observations like, “I just saw an owl get attacked by crows,” or, “We shouldn’t have listened to Digital Underground on the way here because now I can’t get ‘Doowutchyalike’ out of my head.”

A select few of them are gold. When I read them back to Tyson recently we were laughing ourselves to tears. They’re inside jokes that I’m not even sure I understand anymore because I had completely forgotten about them. I’m so glad we documented them. There are four thoughts worth posting. Think of them like Saturday Night Live’s “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey,” just not as good. I’m going to leave them here without commentary and let you interpret however you see fit. Tonight is the second of the four posts. Clearly by this time the Woods Madness had set in. Enjoy?

We dreamt up the Legend of the Polk County Tang Slayer who wears nothing but a crew neck sweatshirt and a Camelbak filled with Gatorade. He roams from Centuria to Minong relentlessly impregnating women and recharging his electrolytes. It’s all consensual because he has a raw animal magnetism that the ladies can’t resist. He drinks his Gatorade so furiously that he has drool stains around the neck hole of his sweatshirt. He also gets a lot of Gatorade on his belly because he lifts up his shirt and sloppily drinks while he’s crushing tang.

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