It’s a Father/Son Avengers Marathon!

I’ve never been comic book guy.  I’m a Star Wars guy.  Not that they’re mutually exclusive.  I’ve always loved Star Wars for whatever reason and other than that I’ve never really been in to sci-fi/superhero/comic book culture.  That’s not to say that I dislike it.  I’ve seen my fair share of Superman and Batman movies over the years.  I had other interests.  Then I had a son, Andy, who fell in love with Spider Man at a very young age.  Then it was The Incredible Hulk.  Then Iron Man.  Then Captain America.  I kept thinking, “How can this kid love these characters so much and he’s never seen the movies or read the comics?”  He was learning about them from his friends at school and seeing the toys.

A few years ago I took him to an Avengers movie to see if he’d like it.  I knew it was PG-13, but I figured if I was there with him to explain things to him it would be OK.  He was mesmerized.  He spent most of the movie yelling things like, “Dad, did you see that?  Dad, it’s Hawkeye!  Dad, that was awesome!”  Pretty soon the Marvel Disney Infinity games came out and he had to have all of the characters.  Every time he did well on his homework or had a birthday or Christmas he got more Infinity characters.  After three years Disney stopped making the game and the characters and he needed about 15 of them to complete the collection.  Once the game was discontinued the figures got really cheap because stores were trying to clear them off of their shelves, so one birthday we were able to buy him all 15 that he needed for about $3 each.  That was a cool birthday for Andy.  Disney Infinity was a great game.  Disney, why did you stop making it?  We would’ve kept buying them forever.  They’ve been gone for a few years now and he still asks, “Dad, do you think they’ll ever make Thanos on Disney Infinity?”

Between the few movies he’d seen, toys he’d received, and Disney Infinity video game Andy became obsessed with anything Marvel.  Comic books, action figures, Funko Pop! figures, toys, posters, etc.  He’s almost 10 years old now and a funny thing happened along the way: I really like it, too.  The few Marvel movies I’d seen were really cool.  Good stories, great action, and just fun popcorn movies.  The stories didn’t always make sense because I didn’t have all the background, but they didn’t need to.  My son and I had fun watching them together.

Earlier in 2018 I saw Black Panther and was blown away.  So blown away I went to see it in the theater three different times.  Once by myself, once with Andy, and once with my wife.  When the (much deserved) hype from Black Panther was dying down it started building up for Avengers: Infinity War.  It was at that point Andy and I decided that it was time to watch all of the movies in the Marvel Comic Universe (MCU).  I started setting the DVR for any Marvel movie that was on TV.  I added some to my Netflix watch list.  I bought a couple of them.  By the time I was done we had 18 movies to watch on TV with Infinity War and Ant-Man and The Wasp coming soon.

Since mid-April Andy and I have watched all 20 movies together.  We watched them in order of their release, from 2008’s Iron Man to 2018’s Ant-Man and The Wasp.  We each ranked them as we were watching them and did our best – or at least I did my best – to avoid reviews of the movies so our opinions wouldn’t be tainted.  We also ranked a few other categories.  What you’re about to read is the opinion of a 42-year-old and a 9-year-old who had little understanding of the MCU coming in and no recency bias because we watched all of the movies in the past four months.  We’ve only seen most of these movies once or twice.  My reviews are in my own words and Andy’s are in his.  These will be listed in order of the average of my ranking and Andy’s.  As you’ll see, we disagree on a lot of them.  Here is one thing we agreed on: We enjoyed all of them.  I wouldn’t say there’s a “bad” movie in the bunch.  They were all entertaining, just some a lot more than others.

One last thing in bold and all caps, just in case: SPOILERS AHEAD.  IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THESE MOVIES AND DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THEM, STOP NOW.

Here we go…

20. The Incredible Hulk

I ranked this movie 19th and Andy had it 20th.  Honestly, I was expecting something terrible and was pleasantly surprised.  It’s kind of jarring that Ed Norton plays Bruce Banner in this movie, then Mark Ruffalo takes over the role in every other movie.  It would’ve been funny if they would’ve had the woman who played Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air for the first three seasons (Janet Hubert) in the movie, then replaced her in Iron Man 2.  It’s just hard to base a movie on someone whose “thing” is to lose his temper and wreck stuff.  Not compelling.

19. Captain America: The First Avenger

I ranked this movie 17th and Andy had it 19th.  This movie answered a lot of questions for me because I had seen a couple of the Avengers movies years ago and had no idea where Cap came from or what the hell a Tesseract was.  Andy just liked it because of Red Skull.  Not sure if I should be worried that Andy’s favorite characters are always the bad guys…and this guy is a Nazi.  Not cool, Andy.  FYI: If you’re looking to buy a gift for Andy’s upcoming birthday or Christmas, he REALLY wants the Iron Man/Red Skull Funko Pop! coming out this fall.

17 (tie). Iron Man 3

I had this ranked 18th and Andy had it 14th.  Here’s my beef with it: I want to watch Tony Stark talk trash and do cool Iron Man stuff.  He spends too much of this movie getting his ass kicked and eating humble pie…learning the error of his ways.  I don’t want to see that.  I’m also not sure how I felt about the idea of a Bin Laden-esque terrorist making threats and he was ultimately just an actor sitting in a mansion in South Florida.  That was kind of a letdown.  Plus, this movie felt too long.  That said, there was still enough cool Iron Man stuff to make it worthwhile.

17 (tie). Thor

I had this ranked 15th and Andy had it 17th.  The cast is amazing!  Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Idris Elba, Stellan Skarsgård, Rene Russo, Kat Dennings…are you kidding me?  Every time there was a new scene I was like, “Wait, Idris Elba is in this?  Wait, Natalie Portman is in this???”  It took an hour for Andy to stop yelling, “Dad, it’s Padme!  Why is Padme in love with Thor?  Where’s Anakin?  Dad, what if Thor fought Anakin?  That would be awesome.”  The thing that struck me about this movie is how it felt kind of low budget despite the cast.  When the giant robot attacks the town I wasn’t sure if I was watching an Avengers movie or an episode of Power Rangers.  Also, is Chris Hemsworth wearing eyeliner?  Even thought I had it 15th, I really liked this movie and consider it one of the better pleasant surprises as I did not expect to find Thor interesting at all.  Fun movie, and in my opinion a big step up over the previous three we’ve listed so far.

16. Thor: The Dark World

I had this ranked dead last and Andy had it 10th.  Our first big disagreement!  When I asked Andy why he liked this movie so much, he responded (in perfect 9-year-old fashion): “Because it was awesome!”  I had elevated expectations for this one because I liked Thor more than I anticipated.  This movie was a confusing mess to me.  It seemed like there was both nothing going on and a lot going on at the same time, if that makes any sense.  The villain wasn’t very compelling.  They were fighting over a cloud of red smoke.  Whatever…Andy loved it.  I think Thor is cool, but I Andy adores him and I suspect he overrated this movie intentionally to skew the average because he knew this was last on mine.  My boy is smart.

15. Ant-Man

I had this ranked 13th and Andy had it 15th, which surprised me when he showed me his rankings because he seemed to love this movie.  I thought he’d have it much higher.  Here’s my issue: Is Ant-Man part of the MCU or not?  Make up your mind.  He gets a little action with Falcon in this movie.  He shows up in Civil War for a bit.  He’s a glaring omission from Infinity War.  It’s like they want to slap the Marvel name on these Ant-Man movies but don’t really want him hanging around the others too much.  I knew this movie would be funnier than most with Paul Rudd starring, but Michael Peña (who’s always good in everything) and T.I. were a great surprise.  Judy Greer also makes everything she’s in better.  “Say goodbye to these, because it’s going to be the last time you see them, Michael!”

14. The Avengers

I had this ranked 9th and Andy had it 18th.  18th!!!  In hindsight, I’m not sure why I ranked this one so high.  When you see 20 movies over the course of a few months a lot of them run together.  Actually, I thought about it and I remember: The fight scene in this one when the aliens are attacking New York from the portal and Iron Man ends up saving the world by guiding a nuclear bomb through the portal…good stuff.  It was awesome seeing all of those superheroes on the screen working together for the first time.  Hawkeye takes a lot of crap, but he tears it up in this movie.  I’m a fan of the heroes who are just normal people who used their brains or their skills to become something great.  Iron Man.  Hawkeye.  Black Widow.  They weren’t born in to it or bitten by a radioactive spider.  Hawkeye is a beast.  It takes guts to be a normal human out there with a bow and arrow while the rest of those freaks fly around with their superhuman strength.  I’m team Hawkeye.  This is another good place to point out that it’s really fun to watch movies with Andy when Star Wars actors show up.   This movie always conjures up a bunch of “Dad, what if it was Nick Fury who chopped Jango Fett’s head off?” questions.

13. Iron Man 2

I had this ranked 14th and Andy had it 12th.  Remember when Mickey Rourke had his little run?  Sin City.  The Wrestler.  Iron Man 2.  What happened?  As I said earlier, I avoided reviews as much as I could, but I’ve looked at a few other Marvel rankings recently, and I was shocked to see this listed by more than a few outlets as the worst of the 20 Marvel movies.  Really?  It wasn’t nearly as good as the first Iron Man, but the worst?  Come on.  Any movie with Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, and Sam Rockwell is automatically going to be good.  This was a fun movie.  Rourke’s character was legitimately scary when he got his weird electric whips and stared ripping race cars in half.

12. Doctor Strange

I had this ranked 16th and Andy had it 9th.  Confession: I saw Infinity War before this movie and one of my takeaways was, “Damn, Doctor Strange is a badass.  I need to see that movie.”  Then I consulted my friend Brent, who has been my consultant on all things Avengers througout this process.  I’m paraphrasing, but Brent basically said, “He’s better in Infinity War than he is in Doctor Strange.”  He was right.  I spent at least the first third of the movie thinking, “This guy is so arrogant.  He sucks.  I wish he would’ve died in that car crash.”  He does redeem himself later on.  It’s kind of blurry how he went from an arrogant apprentice to “The Master of the Mystic Arts” in such a short amount of time.  I didn’t like how he was able to just rewind time at the end of this movie and undo everything.  One of Brent’s complaints about the MCU in general is that there are no consequences anymore.  If someone dies they can just rewind it.  People don’t really die.  They can come back to life.  The ending of this movie was the best example of that.  Oh, the bad guys destroyed Tokyo?  Just rewind it and do it over.  No big deal.

11. Captain America: Civil War

I had this ranked 8th and Andy had it 16th.  As you’ll see later, I liked Winter Soldier more than I expected.  I was excited to get to Civil War but ended up liking it less.  The love/hate relationship between Captain America/Steve Rogers and Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes gets kind of old.  They help each other, they nearly kill each other, one saves the other’s life, rinse, repeat.  I liked this movie because it introduced us to T’Challa/Black Panther.  Chadwick Boseman had already become one of my favorite actors after his underrated portrayals of Jackie Robinson in 42 and James Brown in Get On Up.  Glad to see him finally getting his due in something other than a biopic.  Not sure how I felt about the “Civil War” between our superheroes.  Who am I supposed to cheer for?  I want them fighting Thanos, not each other.

Am I really only halfway done with this list?

10. Avengers: Age of Ultron

I had this ranked 10th and Andy had it 13th.  The key to this movie for me was the addition of Scarlet Witch.  I did not see her coming!  Is she the best Avenger?  Think about it.  She can mess with everyone’s mind.  She can use her powers to do pretty much anything she wants.  She’s the only one with the power to destroy the Mind Stone to prevent it from falling in to the hands of Thanos…of course, he was able to just press “rewind” and bring it back.  This movie also introduced us to Quicksilver.  It’s too bad he didn’t last longer, but I have to admit, I knew he was a dead man when he showed up for the climactic fight scene dressed like he was going to crossfit class.  Everyone else was in their vibranium battle gear and he was rocking a track suit and a pair of Nike Zoom Pegasus Turbos.  Last thought: I loved Ultron.  One of my favorite scenes in any of these movies was after the Stark Tower party when everyone was trying to lift Thor’s hammer.  Then Ultron showed up and turned things upside down.  He was perfectly understated and creepy.  Well played, James Spader!

9. Spider Man: Homecoming

I had this ranked 11th and Andy had it 7th.  I’m not surprised Andy had this higher than I did.  I’m kind of surprised Andy didn’t have this in his Top 3.  Spider Man is his original comic book crush.  He still watches the Tobey Maguire/Kirsten Dunst movies frequently.  I have to say I’d also place this one in the “pleasant surprise” category as I did not have high expectations.  Actually, since I don’t have a whole lot else to say about this movie (except that they severely underused Donald Glover) so I’m going to drop a different observation here.  As you get further in this list you’ll see that, for the most part, the movies at the top are more recent.  Again, I don’t believe there’s much of a recently bias, since we watched most of these movies for the first time in the past four months.  I keep calling these movies pleasant surprises because the law of averages says that there has to be a dud somewhere in the group.  There just hasn’t been a dud (in my opinion) since Thor: The Dark World, and that movie had its moments, too.  I keep going in to these fun, funny, action-packed, high-quality Marvel movies thinking, “OK, this has to be the one that kind of sucks.”  It never happens.  At worst I walk out with a smile on my face saying, “That movie was fun.”  Kudos, Marvel, Disney, Stan Lee, and whoever else is involved in making these movies consistently good.  Not an easy feat.

8. Thor: Ragnarok

I had this ranked 12th and Andy had it 3rd.  This was one of our biggest disagreements.  At the risk of contradicting what I just wrote, this movie was the closest thing to a disappointment as I’ve seen out of Marvel in years.  I’m clearly missing something.  This movie scored 92% on Rotten Tomatoes.  Brent loved this movie, and that fact alone makes me think I was only half-ass watching this movie.  Not trying to make excuses, but my kids were in the room being wild as hell when I watched this movie.  I need to give it another chance.  That said, felt like they were reaching way too much for comedy in this movie.  The Thor/Hulk stuff was mostly weird and not funny to me.  I don’t like Hulk developing a personality and cracking wise.  The Jeff Goldblum stuff was also just odd.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t dislike it.  I had heard so much good about it I really expected to love it and was kind of let down when I didn’t.  Of course, don’t tell any of this to Andy.  He adores Thor.  He’s going to be Thor for Halloween.  He overrated the hell out of The Dark World, too.  Come on.  That’s not the 10th best Marvel movie.  Neither is this, but again, Andy loves it.  Andy’s rebuttal to my argument: “I love this movie because Thor crushed the lava monster in the beginning and the fight scene on the bridge was super cool.”  So, there you have it.

7. Guardians of the Galaxy

I had this ranked 2nd and Andy has it 11th.  11th!  He can’t be my son.  I had a difficult time not making this #1 on my list, and it breaks my heart to see it this low.  Maybe some of it goes over Andy’s head?  I don’t know what he’s thinking.  In fact, he kind of makes fun of me for loving it as much as I do.  He sarcastically says things like, “Of course dad wants to watch Guardians of the Galaxy.”  Damn right I do!  What’s not to love?  Star Lord/Peter Quill is a modern day Han Solo.  Gamora is an ass kicking machine who is somehow terrifying and sexy at the same time.  Drax is hilarious, which was surprising to me because I watched enough wrestling to make me think, “Really, Bautista is in a movie?  He has no personality.”  He’s actually perfect.  Ronan is a fantastic villain.  He’s legitimately scary, and I like villains who truly believe there’s justification for their evil deeds.  In Ronan’s eyes he’s right.  He’s not just cartoonishly evil for the sake of being evil.  For what it’s worth, this is the funniest of the Marvel movies as well.  Just an enjoyable ride from start to finish.  My son doesn’t know what he’s talking about : )

The next three movies ended up in an exact tie when we averaged them out, so I’m listing them in alphabetical order…

4 (tie). Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I had this ranked 6th and Andy had it 5th.  I’m going to say this for the 2nd to last time: This movie was a pleasant surprise for both of us.  I didn’t love Captain America: The First Avenger so my expectations weren’t up.  This movie shattered them.  There were some great, surprising plot twists in this movie that kept me on my toes.  At some point I think I actually said to myself while watching it, “Damn, this movie is really great!”  It’s also incredibly violent.  I know…they all are to some degree.  I’ll just say that this was the one movie of the 20 Marvel movies that I watched with my son thinking, “Maybe he shouldn’t be watching this.”  We were 3/4 of the way through it when I recalled Brent telling me years ago, “I’m not sure I’d let my kid watch that one.”  Andy sees a lot of violent movies and we have a lot of talks about it to make sure he’s not getting the wrong ideas.  I believe he’s a great kid and as his parent, I get to decide what he can watch and if he is mature enough to handle it.  Whether I’m right or wrong, a lot of my justification for the violence that he sees in movies is that it’s sci-fi.  Watching some beast or alien get struck down by a laser beam or light saber is not the same as watching someone get eviscerated on Game of Thrones…at least that’s what I’m telling myself.   While I didn’t count (it would be impossible) I would go out on a limb and say this movie had more machine gun fire than any movie I’ve ever seen.  This is not good guys fighting evil aliens.  This is human-on-human machine gun fire.  I don’t have a problem with it, but it did make me think twice about my son seeing it.  Regardless, we both loved this movie.

4 (tie). Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

I had this movie ranked 5th and Andy had it 6th.  I love this movie as well, but my son and I should be jailed for having it ranked ahead of the original.  I blame Andy.  The main reason I have this movie behind the original is because the bar was set so high.  It may have reached the bar, but it didn’t clear it.  To be the champ, you’ve gotta beat the champ, and this movie didn’t quite do it for me.  Andy likes this movie better than the original because, “Star Lord turns in the Pac Man and he becomes a God and fights his dad.”  Also, he thinks Young Groot is funny and he loves Ego.  Again, not sure why my son has an affinity for evil leaders bent on genocide. I’m gonna have to keep an eye on him.  As far as Young Groot goes, I preferred adult Groot.  He was a slight negative in this movie for me.  I loved the addition of Mantis because she ended up being a great foil for Drax.  Also, the Taserface stuff was hilarious.  Andy didn’t like that Yondu died, but I will say that the Ravager funeral for Yondu at the end of the movie was a surprisingly touching and cool moment.

4 (tie). Iron Man

I had this ranked 3rd and Andy had it 8th.  What an amazing start to the Marvel movies this was.  If they had anyone other than Robert Downey Jr. playing Tony Stark, this entire MCU run of movies may not have happened.  Downey is a fantastic actor and gave Stark the perfect combination of cool, swagger, ego, badassness and humor.  Iron Man probably shouldn’t have been this cool, but Downey pulls it off.  His escape from Afghanistan is one of the great scenes in all of the Marvel movies.  Andy likes how he can fly away and escape whenever he’s in danger like he did in the final scene to freeze Jeff Bridges.  After seeing nothing but Batman and Superman movies my whole life up to this point, it was awesome to see a new superhero who could be so cool and funny and still kick ass.  Still one of the best MCU movies ten years later.

3. Avengers: Infinity War

I had this ranked 7th and Andy had it ranked 1st.  This is Andy’s favorite of all of the MCU movies.  Andy claims he loves this movie because, “Thanos destroys all of them.”  Here’s the thing: I was there when he saw this movie.  I thought he was going to cry at the end because he was so upset.  When I asked him what he thought of it while we were still in our seats, he said, “I loved it until the last 10 minutes.  I hated that.”  We spent the next several days discussing who was still alive and who wasn’t and if they’d be coming back.  More from Andy: “I did not like that Thanos killed Loki and stabbed Iron Man.”  Those are some pretty serious complaints for his #1 movie.  This was a really cool movie from start to finish.  Lots of amazing action, effects, and some great laughs.  The scene when Drax believes he can make himself invisible is an all-time classic.  I hated that Iron Man got stabbed and I truly believed it was a fitting end to his story, and then, once again, he wasn’t really dead.  My beef with this movie goes back to what Brent said: Are there ever really consquences in the MCU?  Iron Man is dead!  No, just kidding.  When 75% of the Marvel crew vanishes at the end of this movie am I really supposed to believe they’re gone?  They’re gonna kill off Black Panther after that movie just made a zillion dollars and will probably get Oscar nominations?  I don’t think so.  No matter.  This was an awesome movie and a fun watch, consequences or not.  We’ll be there for Infinity War 2 next year.

2. Ant-Man and The Wasp

I had this ranked 4th and Andy had it ranked 2nd.  As Andy sits here watching me type he says, “I love this one,” just at the mention of the title.  He made a last second plea for me to move this to #1 in his rankings, but I’m already 4,400 words in to this thing and I’m not moving things around at this point  One more time: This movie was THE pleasant surprise out of all 20 of the Marvel movies.  Neither one of us went in to it thinking we were about to see something awesome and we were both blown away.  Great action, cool story, and hilarious.  Andy liked that Ant-Man’s suit wasn’t working, so he had to pretend to run around school like a little kid.  We liked that it explained very early on why he was absent for Infinity War.  Then were both stunned at the end when they showed him left in the Quantum Realm while everyone else was vaporized by Thanos.  Where does that leave Ant-Man moving forward?  My theory is that Ant-Man will surprise everyone and find a way to show up at exactly the right time to do something amazing to Thanos in Infinity War 2.  Please, Marvel, find a way to get Paul Rudd in Infinity War 2.  Also, I hope T.I. and Michael Peña weren’t vaporized by Thanos.

1. Black Panther

I had this ranked 1st and Andy had it 4th.  If Andy had his way and I moved Ant-Man and The Wasp up to #1, this would be tied for 1st.  Too late, Andy!  For me, this and Guardians of the Galaxy are 1a and 1b, and everything else is a distant 3rd.  What can Andy and I say about this movie that hasn’t already been said?  It somehow combines everything that’s great about all of the other Marvel movies along with an amazing social statement.  Someone tell me now how this isn’t a Best Picture nominee at the Oscars this year, and spare me all of your crap about it being too popular.  Tell that to Titanic.  Actually, never mind that.  Titanic was trash and should’ve lost to Good Will Hunting.  Seriously, I have nothing original to say about this movie, so let’s hear Andy’s review: “I really liked that Klaue can just touch glass and make it disappear and grab whatever he wants.  The bar scene in Korea and the chase after were cool.  I liked when Killmonger killed Black Panther but they brought him back to life.”  For me, what put this movie over the top was the conflict between those who wanted to use Wakanda’s advanced technology to help the world and those who wanted to use it to take over the world.  You could see both sides of the argument, which is what made Killmonger such a great villain.  I didn’t necessarily think he was wrong.  I hope I’m wrong, but I believe this movie is as good as a Marvel movie can get and I’m not sure it can be topped.

So…after what feels like a million words, you’d think Andy and I are done.  You’d be wrong.  We also have a few awards we wanted to hand out.  Here goes:

Favorite Avenger

Andy: Thor (Runner-Up: Iron Man)

I like Iron Man because his hammer is the heaviest and he’s the only one who can carry it…and his sister, but she’s not cool.  He defeated Hulk in Thor Ragnarok.  He kissed Padme.  He became friends with the Guardians of the Galaxy.  He got an axe in Infinity War that Groot built.  He’s a God.  Iron Man is a genius at building and he can fly and shoot blasters out of his hands.  He also has Jarvis to talk to him.

Cha: Star Lord (Runner-Up: Black Panther)

Star Lord is the total package.  Cool, good with the ladies (sort of), fearless, an awesome pilot, and most of all, funny.  It also has to do with my love of Chris Pratt.  If someone else was playing this character I might not like him as much.  Shout out to Andy Dwyer.  Black Panther is great because not only does he have the powers of the Black Panther, but he’s all heart.  He’s driven to do what’s right for all people.  I love that.

Favorite Villain

Andy: Loki (Runner-Up: Thanos)

I like Loki because he can turn in to different people.  He had an Infinity Stone in his spear.  He’s Thor’s brother.  He also has daggers.  Thanos is cool because he’s stronger than Hulk.  Thanos killed Vision just to get an Infinity Stone.  I didn’t really like Vision.

Cha: Ronan (Runner-Up: Erik Killmonger)

If you’ve read this far, you know my reasons.  No need to add more.

Pleasant Surprise

Andy: Ant-Man and The Wasp (Runner-Up: Thor: Ragnarok)

My favorite part was in the very end after the credits they sent Ant-Man in to the Quantum World, everyone else disappeared and Ant-Man was stuck.  Thor: Ragnarok was cool because Thor and Hulk fought.  Thor figured out that he had powers of lightning.

Cha: Ant-Man and The Wasp (Runner-Up: Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

Again, if you read this far, you know why.

Biggest Disappointment

Andy: The Incredible Hulk (Runner-Up: Captain America: The First Avenger)

The Incredible Hulk was disappointing because I thought that Hulk was going to be a little bit smarter.  He didn’t like the purple shorts that the girl gave him.  I don’t like that he didn’t choose his name.  Someone else chose his name.  I thought Captain America would have more action.

Cha: Thor: Ragnarok (Runner-Up: Captain America: Civil War)

No more comment.  Read above.

Best Weapon

Andy: Infinity Gauntlet (Runner-Up: The Hammer of Thor)

The Infinity Gauntlet has all six Infinity Stones.  Thanos can use it to go back in time or snap his fingers to make everyone disappear.  The Soul Stone has Gamora trapped inside of it.  Thor’s hammer is cool because it’s the heaviest.  It can fly to him.  It has lightning.

Cha: Hadron Enforcer (Runner-Up: Iron Man’s blasters)

The Hadron Enforcer isn’t necessarily my favorite weapon.  What I like about it is that Rocket talks so much trash about how great it is, and then when Star Lord finally uses it, it actually lives up to Rocket’s hype.  That thing blew a hole in the Dark Aster and made it crash.  It looked like it killed Ronan as well.  Still, the best part is how much Rocket brags it up.  I also love Iron Man’s blasters that shoot out of his hands.  That would be useful weapon to have.

That’s finally it.  I’m not sure which movie is next.  Captain Marvel?  Infinity War 2?  All I know is that Andy and I won’t miss another one.  You win, Disney.  You always do.

P.S.: This column may be filled with grammatical errors and typos.  I don’t care.  We’re 5,400 words in, it’s past Andy’s bed time, and I don’t have an editor.  Time to publish.  Enjoy!

 

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